R & R

Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation ...


This weekend was a nice and relaxing. I was back in the 'Ville and spent most of the weekend catching up on movies. I was able to lay back and enjoy Harold and Kumar 2 and Doomsday along with a few UFC events. I kept my foot elevated much of the weekend and caught up on some much needed sleep as well. It was nice to leave the watch off and have no schedule to worry about for three days.

Most of this week will be taken up by playoff volleyball at Marikka's. I'm also looking forward to getting to the movie theater this weekend and the UFC PPV on Saturday. Not to mention a couple of knuckleheads coming in from West V next weekend. It's all fun and games til the guy from Mississippi takes his ball and goes home.

New Shirts

I bet you won't put that on a Tshirt.

Oh really? We'll just see about that...

I've been working on some new T-shirt designs. Some have been at the request of others, but most have come from the madness. Enjoy.

Doctor, Doctor

I will now make an incision. I will now remove the appendix. The patient did not survive ...

So I decided to kill two birds with one vacation day by going to see both of my doctors last Monday. I went to my PCP in the morning and as usual she wanted to run a bunch of tests. I generally wait until I go back to see her before I get the results. She siad I didn't need to come back and see her for six months, so I guess I'll call the number and see how things worked out. She seemed to be pleased that my blood pressure and weight were both down. There really wasn't a whole lot to the follow up except a reminder to take my meds and come back to see her.

I had some time to kill between doctors' visits, so I made the painful stop for gas and then I did a little grocery shopping. I got back to the house and propped my foot up for about a half hour before it was time for me to go see my surgeon. It was a bit of a mad house at the office, since it was right after lunch. I waited around for a while and then finally got the call to walk down the hall to an exam room. I may have dozed off, because it seemed like it took a while for the doctor to pop in and see me. He examined the ankle and asked me to walk across the room. He could tell I was favoring the good ankle, so he asked me to stand on my tippy toes. I was a bit nervous to do it in the center of the room, but I gave it a shot. He said he liked the way I was progressing and wanted me to start strengthening the calf and tendon. So now I have full clearance to walk and do leg exercises as long as I don't get crazy with the sports. I go back to see him in three months.

All in all, a pretty good day to be out and about standing on two legs.

Jizzbots Assemble

It's your cousin, Marvin. Marvin Berry. You know that new sound you've been looking for. Well listen to this...

Friday night the Jizzbots got a few people together for karaoke at Survivors. I haven't enjoyed that guilty little pleasure in a while, so I met them out there. When the first of us showed up, there were maybe five other people in the bar. Tracy was very excited to be there. And by that I mean to say, Tracy WAS VERY EXCITED TO BE THERE! She had organized the event because she had not been out for karaoke since February. I was just trying to get an idea of what songs were on the list, but Tracy knew several songs that she wanted to sing including an Alicia Keys song she is planning to sing at her cousin's wedding. After she took her turn, I did not want to go up there. It's like having a talent competition and you follow the singer that started taking lessons at the age of three. I went up anyway and attempted When Doves Cry. A slight case of the jitters and some reverb made it by far my worst performace of the evening. Not long after that a few more of the group arrived and the crowd became a little rowdy. Mix in some liquid courage and you have a recipe for fun. I moved over to some Elvis and Garth. Someone jumped ahead of me for Hank, so I switched gears and tried Papa was a Rolling Stone. I didn't have the speaking parts down on that one. Tracy was hoping to do a duet all night and I agreed to several of her choices. She settled on My Humps by the Black Eyed Peas. Little did I know that there was very little in the way of male vocals. I tried to pitch in with the female vocals from time to time and decided to go Opera Guy on the few male vocals that I had. Much laughter from the crowd on that one. Sarah and Jenny's Baby Got Back was pretty good. Casey got into the act with some good vocals on songs that I was not very familiar with as well. By the end of the evening, I even had a request from a young lady to do another Elvis song. I was just hoping for a little Poison by Bel Biv Devoe and that idea did not seem to disappoint her. Unfortunately, time ran out on the evening and I had to announce, You ain't got to go home but you got to get the Fuck out of here! The group was breaking apart at the back of the bar and there was talk of heading this way or that. I had to get up early the next morning for a trip to King's Island. I didn't get much sleep Friday night, but I had a lot of fun. I guess the Jizzbots truly are Supersonic. We'll have to do that again soon.

Hang Loose

Pilot to bombadier, would you like to press or hang? Over.
This is the bombadier requesting permission to hang. Over.
You have permission, bombadier. The window will be down in 5. Over.

Captain Toledo and the guys at work have been great about getting me into the plant for the last three months. D-Rock, Charles, Joe and even General Lee (who may or may not be a racist) and the intern with no name have all taken turns being short bus drivers for me. The thing is if you do something long enough it really stops being fun. I think tensions have begun to mount over the daily Driving Mr. Hoke saga. Thankfully, I go back to the surgeon on Monday and I'm expecting to get clearance for the next stage of function on the leg. If not, I may have to invest in a Rascal.

Some more good news from the workplace. I'm actually taking a couple of days off. I rescheduled my PCP appointment for Mon, so I can knock both doctor's visits out in one day. I'll also be looking to get some chores done as well. But the main thing is that Tuesday, I am completely off from work and have no real plans. And I plan to keep it that way. I've lost a lot of the flexibility that I had and not just around my ankle. Everything had to be so Black and White (and you know White always follows Black). I'm beginning to see just how other people were viewing my lifesize portrayal of Rampage Jackson. I would like to blame it all on the heat, but I'm told it's the humidity that will turn around and bite you in the ass. Oh well, only six more weeks until the Fall. Maybe a snow storm will come through to help me chill out.

Don't Worry, Be Happy!

How exactly did you get fired on your day off?

This should really have been a cake week for me. The Toyota plant was shut down and there were only a handful of TMMK workers in our area. That should have provided all kinds of peace and quiet in order to get ahead at work. Unfortunately, the voices in my head kept arguing. So here it is Friday morning and the stars are certainly not aligned like Ms. Cleo said. I'm not sure but I think she might be a fake because even her accent sounded phoney. There were some scheduling and rescheduling issues. There are always work flow issues. And of course the occasional personal distraction. So that brings us to the end of another glorious work week. I'm headed up to King's Island in the morning and then to a party at Amber & Chewie's. Should be a nice tiring day, so that I can sleep soundly come Saturday night.

In the meantime, I'm still working on some things for Two Hype. The web site is under construction and coming very soon. I've also got some new design ideas. Some of which may even sell a tshirt or two. I've put a lot of pressure on myself with this venture and I know I may not be handling it well at all times. So I want to give a special shout out to all the people that have put up with my craziness lately. There are several times that I've been on the patio and the tiniest conversation snowballs into something interesting. There have also been times when I've lost my train of thought because I'm so tired. It can be tough to balance everything. Here's to next week being the best week ever!

What's In A Name?

My name isn't Chef anymore, children. I've converted to Islam. From now on my name is Abdul Mohammad Jabar-Rauf Kareem Ali...

My cousin Mike used to be called The Rock when he was competing as a bodybuilder. I worked out with him for a while and he nicknamed me Little Rock. When we started working out again earlier this year, he challenged me to get my Little Rock title back. I can't say whether or not I've done that (he gave me the name, he will have to be the one to reappoint it), but I can say I like the direction that I'm going.

Come to think of it I go by a lot of names. Brett, B$ (pronounced B Money), BigDaddy, Ladies Man, Asshole ... Okay, those last two are from people sippin on the haterade but I can see where they are coming from. I need a new nickname to take with me when I'm ready to enter into the fierce world of the Octagon. Nothing against Big Frog and Sunshine, but damn that sure doesn't strike fear into the heart of the competition. How about:

Bonesaw - That was my original Xbox live nickname. Depending on where your head's at, you may be confused and think of a surgical utensil. Actually, I took the name from the first Spider-man movie. Randy "Macho Man" Savage played the wrestler and his name was Bonesaw. I do a decent Macho Man impersonation, so I thought it would be jacked up to get on Live and start a death match with 'Bonesaw's ready.' It was pretty surreal and fun as hell to boot.

KYBigDaddy - That's my new Live name. Again depending on where your head's at, you could get the wrong idea. While KY is a jelly, it is also the postal abbreviation for the Bluegrass State. I'm a country boy that was born here, was raised here, and Lord willing and the Creek don't rise; they'll make my grave here.

B White - I'm sure some people have already given me this nickname. You sing one Hank Williams, Jr. song on the patio and suddenly you've lost your skin pigment. My people are a tropical people, but I just don't dig Cancer of the Skin. Anyhoo, I also do a mean Prince or so I've been told. The fact is it's kind of fun to kick up a little Garth Brooks or Elvis Presley at the kareoke bar and watch the White people get confused. Maybe they should just call me His Royal Majesty the King. Too much? Oh well, there's always...

B Lethal - I try to keep it cool, calm and collected; but occasionally the short fuse is lit and I explode. I've been working in the Danger Room with Professor X to control my power but just like the original Wolverine I've got animal instincts that take control from time to time. Maybe when the Hemi-powered Fantastic Car gets out of the shop, the Friend/Foe indicator will be fixed.

Until Dark Knight hits IMAX, make mine Marvel.

Case Closed

Detective George Peterson, Chicago PD ...

Notes from Case File: 35-788746

So I was called down to the heart of Bluegrass country to investigate the most heinous of crimes, the Mother of all Cock Blocks. It wasn't hard to find the perp. I hauled her into the box and sweated her until I thought she would break. She's one tough Broad, though. She never admitted to anything, she just kept going "What up, Playboy?" kind of like that bunny rabbit. I get that a lot when I get outside of Chicago. Someone new, devilishly handsome and a sense of humor to boot; sometimes the Dames can't look past all that to see that I wear my heart on my sleeve.
Back to the case at hand. The first victim in this case made a brief statement: "I was there that night and things aren't always what they seem. I guess I didn't provide the distraction from her personal pain that I thought I would." I made several attempts to track down a second victim, but my calls were not returned. I was able to talk to a witness to this horrible crime. Under the protection of anonymity, she admitted that the Cock Block had happened and was still in full effect. Without a second victim's testimony, a piece of corroborating evidence or a confession; my hands are bound. Maybe one day that chick will step up to the plate and everyone can move on with their lives. Captain Toledo wants me back on other cases in the Windy City. Crime never sleeps and neither do I.

Health Watch July '08

A lot of people ask me, stupid fucking questions …

Actually, that’s not true. A lot of people have questions for me, but they seem to be a little intimidated to ask. One of the big ones is, “Why?” Why ask why?

I could set goals and hope for the best. I can also not set goals, thusly failing to plan and planning to fail. The reason I’ve become so open is that I need the pressure and accountability that comes from having dozens of people know what my health goals are. If I go it alone, I can make strides and go so far. But when I hit that first wall or that second wall, will I have enough to push through? Maybe, maybe not. With the millions and the millions of the Daddy’s fans saying their prayers, taking their vitamins and listening to their Moms and Dads along with me; I can feel their support and encouragement behind me when I hit that wall. I am not alone. In fact I become larger than life. I am the Best there is, the Best there was and the Best there ever will be. And that’s the bottom line, because BigDaddy said so!

I’ve trimmed down to 280 lbs as of this morning. I was much more mindful of my food/calorie intake this past week and I was pretty consistent with my workouts. I’m trying to balance the scales by concentrating on having healthy food around and realizing the effort it will take to make up for poor eating choices. I still have a ways to go even to cut to 250 lbs. I’d really like to get down closer to 225 lbs or even 200 lbs if possible, though.

Phil has joined the dojo and we’ll be working out together for the upcoming future. He felt the power of the dojo for the first time on Sunday and you could see the look of awe in his eyes as he left with visions of a new more pumped up and chiseled PhD in his head.
He’s getting married on November 1st of this year, so we have a tough road ahead of us if he wants to make his goal by then.

Rumor Mill

How do rumors get started? Started by the jealous people and they get mad, ‘cause something they had and somebody else is holding...

It was brought to my attention last night that I’m a gigolo. Man that’s news to me, but hey what do I know about my own life. I try not to let what other people say and think affect me, but this particular rumor seems to have given me a burn notice. And that would still be fine, ‘cause I’m a chameleon. I can grow out my hair and beard, shed a few pounds and in no time flat I look totally different than the picture on the FBI’s most wanted list. But there is one particular incident that kind of has me pissed. I would think a smart person would walk up to me and ask me about the rumor. Adam did. You might get a comical story to go with the bologna sandwich you’ve already been fed. Or at least you'll get the full picture instead of just one-side. Cheers mate!

Bambi Walk

Now usually I don't do this, but I'm going to break you off a piece of the plagiarism. My boy B. Bray doesn't mean to shout, he's just trying to be heard over all the background noise.

NOW THAT THE KY. DERBY IS BEHIND US, IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN. AUGUST WILL BE HERE BEFORE YOU KNOW IT. BAMBI WALK IS SET FOR AUGUST 30TH. MEET AT BAMBI BAR AT 7 P.M. WE R GOING TO MOVE IT UP AN HOUR THIS YEAR. THAT IS BECAUSE SOME OF THE PLACES THAT GET THERE REGULAR SATURDAY EVENING CROWD, CAN STILL GO TO THERE REGULAR PLACES FOR DINNER OR WHAT EVER THEY DO. I WOULD LIKE TO GET AS MANY PEOPLE THERE BY 7,**(WE WILL NOT START BEFORE 7)** SO A GROUP PHOTO CAN BE TAKEN. WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A PHOTOGRAPHER THERE THIS YEAR WITH ONE OF THOSE BIG CAMERAS. AND TAKE PICTURES PERIODICALLY THRU THE NIGHT. T-SHIRTS WILL BE $20. ALL SIZES.ALL MONEY FOR SHIRTS WILL BE DUE BY AUGUST 20TH. SHIRTS AFTER THAT WILL BE $25. SO GET YOUR GROUPS TOGETHER AND START COLLECTING. B. BRAY

If you interested in a good time of comraderie and drinking, then the Bambi Walk is for you. Its on Bardstown Road in Louisville so carpooling may be involved. Get with me if you're want to go or just want more information.

Movie Reviews

Welcome to the land of the free and home of the brave. She turned another year older last week, so be nice to the best little country on the planet ...

I've noticed that a lot of people are willing to give unsolicited advise on how to live our lives or fix this country or make rain fall from the sky. The thing is, opinions are like assholes, everybody has one. I don't mind you telling me how you did something or explaining your opinion on what you think I should do. Just keep it to a minimun with the I know better than you bullshit. I'm a pretty smart guy and I like to look at things from a few different angles before I jump into the fray. Of course, I can be excitable and overly obnoxious with my advice and opinion as well. This is America, though. So jump right in with your ideas and your beliefs and join the melting pot. Just don't think that yours has to be right because it's yours and works for you. There's always something different that might work better for the guy standing next to you.

So I told you all that so that I could pump you full of my opinion on three movies that I've seen recently:

The Incredible Hulk

The Hulk was amazing. It had high caliber acting and the special effects weren't bad either. The story is a throwback to the old comics and TV show. I don't think I'm giving anything away when I say that there is a scene that shows the late Bill Bigsby from one of his non-Hulk TV roles. That's what I love about Marvel comic movies. There are a lot of subtle things for true fans of the source material, but at the same time they tend to have a compelling story that will excite people that are not familiar with the comics. Of course, there are also cameos from Stan "The Man" Lee, the legendary Marvel executive/writer and Lou Ferrigno, the original Hulk. I would like to point out that Big Lou (all his friends call him Big Lou, so naturally I do) looks like he could walk into Maaco and walk out the big green behemoth once again. He looks incredible for a guy his age (going on 57). For those that were doubters, because of the Ang Lee movie a few years back. Phooey on you. Even the CGI Hulk looks like he's been in the gym getting ready for the role. Anyone that likes a great action flick with a sprinkle of romance will like this movie. And the romantic side story is not overdone, in my opinion. Yeah, I cried (and I kind of figured I would). But there was chemistry throughout the film with all the actors. There were several LOL moments and some just exciting fight scenes. Overall, I would say this is the second best movie of the summer so far. Right behind Iron Man. Dark Knight has a big cape and cowl to fill if it hopes to take summer blockbuster honors. I do have a request for the DVD. Can I get Ed Norton and Bill Cosby together to teach a class on proper breathing technique. Between the two of them I could breath away the anger. GO SEE THE HULK NOW!

Wanted

This is a movie about assassins that stars Angelina Jolie. Notice I didn't say this was a movie about curving bullets. Yeah, that is in there, but the true story is about a secret society of assassins and the deception that is their lives. I don't like to give away plot points, cause I'm not that guy. If I hear someone has not seen a movie, I will completely back off and change topic. If however, you have seen the movie, I will be glad to dive in and discuss. So the movie has something of a strange feel to it. You are on a rollercoaster ride with the action, but from the beginning I kept thinking about Fight Club. The narration and the the everything is not what it appears to be kind of back me up on that. This is a popcorn action movie. Yeah, there's a underlying story if you want to get into it. Yeah, there is a huge twist at the end that I did not see coming. Yeah, AJ or Mrs. Brad Pitt shows off her backside after getting out of a tub. But most of that is unimportant when you can sit down for 90 minutes and just watch a fun flick that takes you to a place that you could never get to on your own. Don't get hung up on the curved bullets and try not to get caught up in the AJ semi-to-full nakedness. Wanted is a good action flick. Go see it and enjoy!

Which brings us to none other than Pixar's

Wall-E

I was more than a little hesitant going into this movie. I like Pixar films as much as the next guy, but they really aren't made for me. Wall-E was not an exception. It was pretty heavy-handed with the environment-destroying, mindless slobs theme. Most of you know that I am the Ladies Man, so the portrayal of women as irrational hooligans was a stretch as well. I will say that the movie was visually stunning. The filmmakers got their message across even if they used a pretty nuclear weapon to do it. Wall-E was a very sympathetic character that you couldn't help but root for throughout the movie. It's a Pixar film so you can probably guess the ending. All an all, it was a pretty film that sucked in women and children in order to get money from the male population. Only go to see it if someone you really like picks it.

So that's my Buck O Five for freedom.

Fireworks, Part 2

This is just a group of videos I shot at the big fireworks display at the roofless Church.

This Time Its Personal

Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. Then there are the times when I make shit up ...

More updates to follow.

Fireworks Videos, Part 1

Videoes from the 4th of July.

This is a view of John and Aurora's backyard.

Their neighbor fired some sort of loud ass mini-canon.

This is part of the evening's fireworks display.

More fireworks videos still to come.

Born on the 4th of July

Welcome to New Harmony, Indiana, a quiet little town that is untouched by the commercialism that plagues your larger cities. It's a veritable utopia ...

I didn't get to explore that much of New Harmony because of the Achilles, but Vic was kind enough to let me pass down Main Street about 7 times while he was lost. I ended up at John and Aurora's house for a wonderful picnic on the 4th. There was a ton of food including the green beans, mac n cheese, butterscotch pies and chocolate cake and sauce that my Mom and Aunt brought to the table. John has a gift for making margaritas. The Cuervo Gold flowed like water to the point of a glass pitcher breaking, but that was quickly replaced by another and the drinks kept a coming. John also is talented with his Green Egg. The corn, beef brisket, sausages and shrimp that came from that wonderful little smoker were amazing. I like to think that I have some skill (some of which I'm sure I lost over the last few years of semi-retirement) when it comes to smoking meats, but what John could do with charcoal and wood that should be illegal and probably is. And not to be outdone, his wife Aurora, made some pretty mean eats herself. She came out with some baked beans and a wonderful potato salad that is better than anything I have purchased in a store. There was a bowl of it near the head of the food line and I got a small scoop to try it. When I saw that it was almost gone, I was relieved because I didn't have to make a decision on whether to get some more. Than as I was getting up to get some more vegetables and chips, she brings out a whole new bowl of potato salad. I may have called her evil, but she knew how much I was enjoying her cooking. She even sent some leftover potato salad home for me. Even though everyone seemed to like the idea of eating healthy, there were way too many deserts for my liking. There was butterscotch pie (one of my favorites), chocolate cake and sauce (another favorite, but I would have had to fight Brian in order to get some), cupcakes and Aurora's wonderful blend of angel food cake, fresh fruit and whipped cream that was layered into a yummy bowl of goodness. I will admit that I could have eaten less, but I did make pains to drink 32 oz of water on the way to New Harmony and drink plenty of grandpa's medicine while I was at the picnic. I took a water bottle filled with Chivas Regal 12 year and a dash of diet Dr. Pepper. It was a wonderful supplement to the margaritas and I only regret not bringing enough to share. It was my first time drinking Chivas and I was impressed with the smoothness of the Scottish liquor. I will gladly be breaking into the bottle that I have back at the house. I spent much of the evening talking with Jon and Aurora's son, Aaron. He has a lot of interesting ideas about the way the world should be and some changes that could very well shake up the status quo here in America. I, unfortunately, am old and jaded, so I kind of had to throw a wet blanket on some of his ideas. We had a lively discussion on everything from politics to the Transformers movie, none of which I plan to relive here. It was great fun to try to have a logical debate over theoretical topics, but it was also very draining. There was really no way to win or lose the arguement, so we went round and round on most topics several times. We were both open-minded enough to actually listen to what the other had to say, so it was fun instead of something that could have turned ugly. Aaron's comment that the new Transformers movie was terrible did lead Brian to jump in between us. Don't talk about my babies. I'm a grown ass man, so come at me; but whatever you do don't talk about my babies. As the night fell, we were greeted by a fireworks display. My bum wheel prevented me from moving as quickly as the others, but Aaron hung back with me to continue our chat all the way to the roofless church and all the way back. I have a few videos from Friday that I will be adding over the next few days. I used to buy a bundle of fireworks back in the day, but it got to be an ordeal to drive to TN to pick them up and then find a good spot to set them off that would not potentially destroy my house. Now that money has been shifted to a slush fund for buying high-end electronics, except for an ancient cell phone that I have. This entire trip to IN has been accented by poor cellular coverage. I really blame Sprint more than my phone. There were other Sprint users that had issues as well. So if anyone tried to contact me on the 4th, my phone was searching for service. And its not like I could have used a cousin's phone to try to contact people if I didn't know whether or not they had contacted me. Call me crazy (and most people do), but I thought it would be better to hang out in the moment and enjoy the break from "civilization" that New Harmony provides. I will get back to my peeps that tried to get at me, though. Enjoy the rest of the holiday weekend. I'm headed up to Wall-E World to get a knee brace. The cousins Vic and Michael are ganging up on me in the gym in a few hours. I'll need every bit of help I can get in order to survive.

Keep Moving Forward

Now we gonna party like it's 1990, wait a minute. Gas is $18/gallon and milk is $12/gallon. We're going to hang out at the house.

So for Father's Day, I ate some good food, but way too much of it. And then I did the Chinese buffet a couple of times last month with the guys from work. Yesterday, we went to Ruby Tuesday's so at least I had the salad bar. I just need to be more careful when I have unlimited food in front of me. This weekend will be a big test. We're going to a cookout today and I'm sure there will be all kinds of food around all weekend. I usually kick things up a notch when I'm training and now that the Dojo is open, the eating habits will have to be properly adjusted. I guess you can call me Janet, 'cause I'm ready to take control. Peace out.

The Return of .... The Rock?

It's a holiday. Go home and be with your wife and kids.
Go home and beat my wife and kids? Sir. Yes, sir! ...