Dodge Family

Who is that?
He’s an asshole, sir.
I know that, who is he?
That’s his name, “Asshole”. Major Asshole.
What about him?
He’s an asshole too, sir.
How many assholes we got on this ship, anyhow?
Yo, sir!
I knew it, I’m surrounded by assholes.

So there’s a guy at work that had a bad experience or two with Dodge vehicles. He tried to tell me that he felt sorry for me because I drive a Dodge (and not in the joking class clown type of way that I have mastered). I feel sorry that I have a huge car payment, but that would have been true with any new car purchase. Now I can let it go when I deal with an idiot in passing, but Big Shot Tony couldn’t let a Lone Wolf lie. His follow up to his first stupid statement was that the entire Dodge line of production vehicles outside the Viper suck. His compound moronic statement was that his dream vehicle, a Subaru Imprezza sti could beat my Charger off the line. I gave him shit all day on Monday when I found out his bad experience(s) had to do with Dodge Neons that he rented from Cheap Ass Buster Rent-A-Car. I think you see where this is going. Nobody that I know of takes good care of a rental car. It’s not your car and you don’t know or care about the owner. Why baby it? Drive it like you stole it and then return it with a smile on your face. The next problem is that the Neon is a piece of shit! I used to have a Neon and I hated it. It leaked oil and had no power. But that doesn’t mean the entire line of cars is crap anymore than Hondas would be after the issues I had with my Civic.

Oh by the way, my entire family supports the Chrysler line of vehicles. My Dad, Uncle Andrew and Aunt Ann all own Chrysler 300s. They are pretty sweet cars, but when I was looking I decided I wanted something a little sportier. My cousin Will is rocking a Jeep Grand Cherokee down in the ATL. I like the Jeep, but I didn’t love it enough to pay for it. My Uncle Rufus has a convertible Sebring in California that he bought for my cousin. I wanted a Sebring back in the day, but that was more a convenience thing. And that brings me to the 2007 Dodge Charger R/T. I saw the unveiling of the new Charger via the TV when it was reintroduced at a Detroit car show. They had the 4-door production model and the 2-door model that is being used in Nascar races. I was really hoping the 2-door would become a production model by the time I sprang for one, but the 4-door has worked out pretty well for me. I knew what I wanted when I got to the dealership and except for a CD-changer that allows me to play MP3 data CDs, I walked away with the whole kit and caboodle. I also didn’t have to waste time negotiating since Ryder employees get a discount on top of incentives and don’t have to beg for a good price. Another little aside: This is my first new car, ever. Surely, thirty-two years of not falling asleep on the job can’t culminate in buying a new piece of shit. The bottom line is that all I’ve added to the Charger is some window tint and it’s as pimp a ride as they come. So enjoy your Imprezza or invisible jet or whatever. Until Subaru makes a gold-plated Forester, make mine Chrysler. Unless, of course, a Porsche 911 Turbo convertible or Nissan 350Z falls from the heavens!