Apparently, I'm an Asshole

I didn't expect her to turn and say, "It's too late to apologize."
I'm still sorry about the whole mixup.

So my friend Mary asked me to see Wall-E with her on Tuesday. I have no problem with the movie in itself. I am just not the core demographic that Pixar was going for (aka I don't have kids or a vage). So I agreed to go because I would either think it was okay to good or fall asleep which I desperately need to do from time to time. More on the movie later. I agreed to meet Mary at THE MARIKKA'S on Southland Drive so that we could carpool and save a couple of bucks. In my mind, the plan was to take her slightly more environmentally friendly car. Not only would we be saving the environment, but in case I passed out from exhaustion and/or boredom - I would have someone to drive me closer to home.

Now this is where the story heats up. I am slightly crippled and more than a little self-centered at the moment and by moment I mean the last thirty-some odd years. I had PLANNED to be at Marikka's around 6:30 to watch volleyball and make some sales. I didn't THINK I needed to be at Marikka's until 7:25 in order to catch the 7:45 show. I was later informed that I was mistaken. When I got off work, I went by the parents' house for a few minutes and then worked out in the dojo. I then busted my wig, because it was getting out of control for the summer cut. There's only so much rushing you can do with a razor in your hand. As I was gathering all my work materials to pile into the car, I heard my phone ring. I wasn't able to catch it before it clicked to voicemail. As soon as I started the car, I called Mary and told her I was on the way. She was not thrilled with me. We discussed some options including seeing a later show. I THOUGHT we were now going to the 9 o'clock and took my time getting to Marikka's. When I pulled up, Mary jumped in the car and said, "Let's go. We'll make the movie, but miss the previews." Someone must be unfamiliar with the term Hemi. Or that I on occasion drive above the posted speed limits. We made it to AmStar, waited in line for tickets, waited in line at the ticket tearing area and still made 2 out of 3 previews both of which were terrible children's movies coming up for the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays.

You think the story's over, but I'm about to begin. We get back to Marikka's on Southland Drive and Mary decides to take a poll or vote if you will. It went a little something like this. "Does Brett's tardiness which led to me missing the previews make him an asshole?" Doug Jr. - my business partner mind you, "Yes. I'm a preview guy and only an asshole would keep me from seeing the previews." Kelly - from the ref's chair, "What an asshole. Definitely an asshole." Lindsey - from the scorer's chair in which I taught her everything she knows, "Gotta go with asshole on this one." At that point my eyes glazed over, so I'm not sure how Jenny and Sara actually voted but I was later told it was unanimous. So I apparently have the most supportive friends in the world.

I am officially apologizing in front of everyone I know. "I'm sorry you didn't get to see the previews at the beginning of the robot-sex movie that you invited me to see."